Opinion

The Great Easter Hunt

  The Easter season reminds me of an incident which occurred a few years ago in a small town where I lived. I won’t identify where exactly and I’ve changed the names, those involved have suffered enough without the need of additional adverse publicity. You may remember the story of the radio station which dropped […]


You’ve got two weeks

First, I have to tell you that I’ve become a member of AA. Hard to believe, huh? Oh, no! Not that AA, I don’t have a drinking problem, at least not yet. But who knows what will happen over the next two weeks? No, I’ve become another Alien Abductee. That’s right, snatched right off my […]


The gift that keeps on giving

My old friend Ernie called me up a few days after the holidays. “Hey, Holmes, You got any Christmas gifts you wish you’d never seen?” he asked. I thought immediately of a certain purple, checkered shirt I’d received. And the crystal candy dish, which would look like pearls on a pig in my place. “Pack […]


Monkey Gods

Well, it looks as if those yo-yos running the state government in Oklahoma City have shot themselves in their collective foot. Not that this is the first time. But this time it’s attracting national and even international attention and making Oklahomans look like ignorant, intolerant hay-seeds. Of course that may be what we deserve for […]


Team Red Thursday

My old friend, Ernie, called the other day and ask if I wanted to observe his new project that afternoon. I could hardly refuse because in the past, regardless of how outlandish his projects might have been, they usually proved to be interesting. After swearing I wouldn’t reveal the location to another soul he gave […]


Feed the Rich

In a secret, closed-door meeting in the Cayman Islands recently, twelve men sat around the table. It was a gathering of the Third Millennium Inter-Denominational Ecumenical Council and its members represented some of the large, Protestant denominations, the TV Evangelists, certain missionary groups and other Christian-oriented political and financial organizations. There was also a Catholic […]


Killing the Goose

In the week the stock market broke 16,000 for the first time I saw a news item about Sears and the huge net losses it and other big, traditional retailers have suffered. For Sears, this was a whopping $534 million this year, which was up from last year’s equally whopping $498 million. Sears CEO Edward […]


Thanksgiving Lists

It’s list season again. Shopping lists, grocery lists, Christmas lists, naughty/nice lists, New Year’s lists of sincere resolve. But oddly there is no Thanksgiving list. It would seem that if we’re truly thankful, we would at least take a few moments to reflect on such a list, on the many things for which we might […]


Hogzilla

My old friend, Ernie, has been hunting wild pigs for some time now and I’ve tasted some of the best bacon and sausage that I’ve ever had made from these lean, wild animals. Although I might mention I’ve yet to taste any ham or roast, or ribs for that matter. Anyway, I wasn’t surprised when […]


A little belt-tightening

Robert and Phyllis Kretchmeyer had gathered their children around the kitchen table for a family discussion and decision making. The parents often included 12-year-old Bert and 8-year-old Samantha in such sessions because both parents believed it was a good way of teaching the principles of democracy and fair play. It seemed even more important lately […]


The Un-Christian Right

Way back when, I worked with a woman who professed a profound, fundamentalist-Christian belief. She was in sales and very successful at it. There was nothing, neither fairness nor integrity nor truth nor even her own sexuality, which would prevent her from making the sale. At the time I thought she must be a member […]


Ernie Gets Covered

I hadn’t seen my old friend Ernie since the Teaparty at his house where I made some disturbing comments to his conservative friends which prompted my early departure. I decided I had better call him to patch things up. We’ve been friends for a long time despite the fact that we seldom see eye-to-eye on […]


Teaparty

Around the time of the government shutdown my old friend, Ernie, called and invited me to a “Teaparty,” just a casual gathering of some of his libertarian, right-wing acquaintances. The high spot of the evening was to be a video of Rafael “Ted” Cruz, the Texas senator from Canada, talking about how he was going […]


Shutdown – An Allegory

Since our last chicken went to her final reward, I’ve been buying eggs from Old Sam who has a farm south of town. He’s got a nice little homestead operation, chickens, some livestock, some produce farming. He’s even got an old mule which he uses to plow with when his antique tractor breaks down. He’s […]


Still Waiting

I am waiting for the rich to finally get enough on their plate. Or perhaps, for them to understand that they already have too much and that more will never be enough. I’m waiting for the wealthy of the earth to give away all their worldly goods and take up a vow of poverty. But […]


A Chicken Like Alice

There is no doubt that Alice was a fighter and a survivor, that’s why what happened to her in the end is all the more tragic. She had survived a bitter, harsh winter roosting outside with her sisters at the far end of the cage. I’d come outside of a morning to find them huddled, […]


ObamaCare is Coming!

ObamaCare is coming! ObamaCare is coming! Man the barricades, ObamaCare is coming! That’s right, the Affordable Care Act (ACA), better known as ObamaCare, opens enrollment on October 1 and from the way some people are acting you’d think the government had unleashed a Frankenstein on the populace. True, it’s a program stitched together from parts […]


Hell Freezes Over

If not for the insanity involved, it might have been amusing, to watch President Obama earlier this week call for Congress to ignore the wishes of the American people, to “vote their consciences” and okay a military strike against Syria. While on the one hand Obama admitted the evidence regarding the alleged chemical weapons attack […]


Gazpacho Dreams

The other day my neighbor said to me, “Instead of your usual outlandish political rants or stupid animal stories, why don’t you give your readers something they can actually use, for a change?” “Like what?” I asked, a little stung by her less-than-flattering references to my sterling political insights and hilarious dog stories. She thought […]


Boone claims “twisting of the facts and the disrespect”

Dear Editor: I read the article “Auction of Records causes row.” The statement “Boone and Bear were forthright that the OPA footed the bill for their trips” is incorrect as far as my expenses are concerned. The OPA did not pay all my expenses. In my opinion there was nothing unethical pertaining to the purpose […]


Dear Australia

Given what’s happened lately, I thought someone should write to you. It seems like the only decent thing to be done. Not that  words can assuage your grief or undo what has happened, nor can they reveal any sense to it. It was an act so senseless and so tragic as to make the very […]


Area 51

I went by my old friend, Ernie’s place the other day. He was seated at his computer updating his Area 51 website. I knew he was something of a UFO/Conspiracy theorist although I’d never spent much time on his website. On the floor was several boxes of what looked like posters, maps and documents. “Oh, […]


The Fourth Amendment

“The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.” – […]


Button Ear Jake

“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” -Mahatma Gandhi It’s been a hard week for Jake. He’s the red, five-year-old, mostly-chow dog that shares the dump I live in and is my ever-faithful companion through fat and lean. Mostly lean. It started when […]